Sorry for not begin around, but didn’t have my laptop long in hospital as started doing leave. Although I found it difficult I know that its not an easy ride, and I accept that. As of today I am back home full time :)
As I think I have said before I go to a survivors group in Eastbourne, and I wanted to use this post, especially as I went tonight, to write about how I appreciate the group and what it does for me.
I started going over 2 years ago now, at first it was really scary, but I was leaving Lavender and I wanted somewhere I could go where I felt accepted and could talk about the issues of being a survivor. I have been to groups before and didn't get on with them, but they have all been behavioural therapy groups. So I was absolutely terrified before I walked in. I had so many questions going though my head, what would other people be like? Would people expect me to talk? And so on and so on. I soon found that although I was very very anxious I felt welcomed from the minute I walked through the door, and that support groups are very different to behavioural therapy groups where they want you to just modify your behaviour.
My friends are fantastic, and they are my family, but I wanted somewhere I could go that I didn’t feel that I was “putting on” them, not that my friends make me feel like that, but I sometimes (OK a lot) worry about it. The group I go to is unique because its for both male and female survivors and for their partners. I was scared by males at first, but I have found by going that I am actually less scared by them in the general world than I was before, as people have made me realise that not all males are out to get me, like in my history.
I feel appreciated and that people get me, and my dissociation as well as the DID. I find that when I talk I get good feedback with ideas that I can try, something that in a way that only people who have been there, in similar situations, can do.
As people know from reading this, I haven’t had the best of years, and the group, as well as my friends have been there. And I have made friends through the group. I am so glad that I took that step and walked through that door back in 2012, and didn’t run away as every bone in my body wanted me to do, as it has helped me survive!
Lots of love
if you want more info on the group in Eastbourne, please go to the website