Eastbouorne Pier

Eastbouorne Pier

Monday, 10 February 2014


Hey guys


I thought that I would write a post about labels. Sometimes these labels can be good, other times they have such a stigma that the way that people treat you is not very nice.


Mental Health itself has a huge stigma against it, especially compared to mental health, people think that others can "pull themselves" out of depression, or are not "trying hard enough" to ignore the voices they hear. Mental illness is just that an illness, such as any other illness or condition. You wouldn't tell someone with appendicitis that lying in bed isn't doing them any good, so why do people say things to people who are suffering from Mental Health Conditions????


I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. The stigma that this group often finds is from the health professionals themselves. People assume the self injury is "attention seeking" and anything that they might say is "manipulative". One person with BPD is very different from an other, like any other illness, but people see this particular diagnosis and believe that this is what sufferers are like!


75% of BPD sufferers have had an abusive upbringing, including myself. some professionals think that another way of saying BPD is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, even though they are different type of illness. what’s probably more true is some people supposedly with BPD actually have C-PTSD!


I am no way saying that I never had BPD, because my life before lavender was extremely chaotic, I was very angry that I tried not to let out, but it spilt out, terrified of rejection to the point it was safer to reject first and so on. I was a typical BPD. However now, since I have been able to speak about the true problem (my abuse) I no longer feel that I am BPD, but trying to get this off my current record is seeming to be quite difficult, even though I know that people who are involved in my care agree with me.


writing this it seems that I am conflicted, not over my current diagnosis, but having the BPD on my record, because of its stigma, yet I want to fight this stigma.


Different people think differently to labels. some find them helpful – helpful that they know what’s wrong with them. some find them unhelpful, and I think (well for me) because of the stigma.


when I was originally diagnosed back in 2002 I was pleased that I knew what was wrong, I could research it and find out what can make things better, such as DBT or STEPPS. But I have become more and more disillusioned with it over the years because of the way that I have been treated. treated that everything I have done was because I was "attention seeking". Attention seeking is used bad thing, yet everyone needs attention, and if your not getting it in the right way then you going to have to seek it in other ways.


My dad, after my parents found out my diagnosis, searched online, and then used it against me. everything I did was because he felt I wasn't the "centre attention" I HATE BEING THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION I did the self harm, the overdose, the going up to Beachy Head because I was distressed and HE caused that distress!!! Sometimes I can rationalise it, knowing that if he could make everyone see me as how he wanted them to see me as then people wouldn't believe me when I started to speak the truth! But that doesn't stop the hurt that the acquisitions he threw at me hurt. he knew I was hurting but wanted to save his own skin! I think this is the reason that I hate the diagnosis so much.


Diagnosis (Labels) aren't everything about a person, whether they are physical or mental health a person is them!

No comments:

Post a Comment